I found this!

thepretzelwearsalt:

the4elemelons:

knerzig:

Neat little lighter

 

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Wait… wait a second!

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This isn’t little…IT’S FAR AWAY!

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OH GOD HOW FAR AWAY IS THIS?!

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SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS! THIS ISN’T A SMALL LIGHTER!

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THIS ISN’T SMALL AT ALL!

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WHY IS THIS SO BIG?!

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WHY?!??!!

Why??!!!

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

draggedqueens:

thickneyspears:

Ariana Grandes Impact


"dis bitch stole my look"
"imma have to kill her after PE today"
a discussion on sexual orientation
me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
classmate: wait, what's polyamory?
me: well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
professor: *overhears from front of class*
professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
me: *defensively* um, actually, no it's--
professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
me: ....
me: ....
me: ....
professor: it should be polyerosy

mancrook:

“omgg be my gay best friend, take me shoppingggg” no how about i steal your credit card and fuck your brother instead hhahaha

Every mouth you’ve ever kissed was just practice. All the bodies you’ve ever undressed and ploughed in to were preparing you for me. I don’t mind tasting them in the memory of your mouth.
Was it a long journey? Did it take you long to find me?
You’re here now, welcome home.
Warsan Shire